Sick Girls Don't Play Nice... 5 Rules To Follow

These last few days I've been sick. Not just a little case of the sniffles, oh no. I've been hacking up all sorts of delightful green goop, and running a 101 + fever, subsequently, if I've left any weird comments on your blogs... forgive me, they sounded normal when I wrote them, but you never know.

Rule #1. People should know better than to require anything of me when I'm sick.

I mean seriously, the worst time to talk to me is when I'm delirious from cold meds, freezing in a 80 degree room, and wiping snot off my upper lip.

Example #1: My husband asked me to get the paper. My response !@#$#@%@ your own %$#@% paper, can't you see how sick I am?

Example #2: My kids started fighting about who had to go out and feed the bunnies. My reply? I fell to the floor in tears (please remember I'm very sick and highly medicated at this moment) and yelled, "FINE, let them DIE! Those poor bunnies never get food. I guess I'll have to do it myself, and maybe I'LL DIE on the way." My kids just rolled their eyes. They know that when I'm emotional I'm a total drama queen.

Rule #2 Don't try to have a real conversation with a sick person.

"Mom, do you think that the pioneers walked by our house back in the 1800's." "Probably, you know if I was a pioneer and was as sick as I am I'd probably DIE." My husband has now forbidden me to talk to the children until my fever goes below 100.

Now here is the best advice I can give when dealing with a sick person.

Rule #3 DON'T call to whine about my kids when I'm not rational enough to be nice to you.

On Wednesday (my worst day) I got woken up from a deep sleep by the phone and a mother with a shrilly voice saying that my daughter is MEAN. Now I know this woman and her daughter, and my daughter and I both decided to mutually avoid this family because they are CRAZY! Seriously! I had also talked with teachers who say this poor girl has had problems with everyone . She gets angry about everything, tells her mom, and then the mother "Attacks". So, I knew the attack was coming. Oh but I so hoped it wouldn't come when I was sick. Yet the phone rang with an anonymous caller ID, and I answered. That leads us to rule #4 Don't answer the phone when you are sick.

I warned her I was sick, and that this wouldn't be the best time to talk to me. Oh, but she persisted. I won't go into the details of the conversation, but lets just say that my daughter's biggest offense was "snapping her fingers in a Z". Now this was in response to her daughter calling mine a looser. All I could do was laugh. My daughter has prayed for this girl, kept quiet when she was rude, replied in kind to her nasty letters, and her big offense was snapping her fingers? Oh, and deciding she didn't want to be her friend (which I suspect is the real reason for all the hurt). On another day I would have had empathy. On another day I would have kept my mouth shut. But this takes me back to rules #3 AND #4.

I know, all of this after my last post about the power of negative words, yet with the exception of my own family, I have no urge to repent. Maybe I just spoke truth? We'll see how I feel about that later.

Rule #5 Don't drive when you are sick

Yesterday I had lunch planned with my dad. I was going to cancel, but when I called he was so excited. He'd had my mom iron his jeans so he could look nice, and was wearing the shirt I bought him for Christmas. On top of that he had gotten his eyes dilated and needed a ride home, and third, he was at the bar... counting on a ride home "if you know what I mean".

So, I threw on some clothes, brushed my messy hair and popped a few Advil to take the fever down enough to function. I looked like pale death, but hey, I was doing a good deed. About half way there is occurred to me that my intoxicated father with the dilated eyes would probably be safer on the road than me, but wisdom isn't a strong point in the "sick mind" so I drove on.

I had a nice lunch with my dad. I picked him up at the bar and drove him to the country club for salads (that I couldn't eat). My husband was there on business and was NOT happy I was out of the house, but didn't say too much. The positive thing about being sick is that everyone fears you! After I drove my dad home I appeared back at my house (I think I drove but I don't remember) I awoke to my husband coming home early to check on me followed by my kids getting off the school bus... the rest was a blur.

Today I feel much better. Not good enough to clean the house or anything, but good enough to write, and maybe eat something besides soup for the first time in three days. I'm going to spend some time in the word today. My only prayers these last few days were "PLEASE LORD, let me feel better."

Oh no, my daughter just said she feels bad... she's running a fever. AAHHHHH! Gotta go!