Friday, January 18, 2008

Sick Girls Don't Play Nice... 5 Rules To Follow

These last few days I've been sick. Not just a little case of the sniffles, oh no. I've been hacking up all sorts of delightful green goop, and running a 101 + fever, subsequently, if I've left any weird comments on your blogs... forgive me, they sounded normal when I wrote them, but you never know.

Rule #1. People should know better than to require anything of me when I'm sick.

I mean seriously, the worst time to talk to me is when I'm delirious from cold meds, freezing in a 80 degree room, and wiping snot off my upper lip.

Example #1: My husband asked me to get the paper. My response !@#$#@%@ your own %$#@% paper, can't you see how sick I am?

Example #2: My kids started fighting about who had to go out and feed the bunnies. My reply? I fell to the floor in tears (please remember I'm very sick and highly medicated at this moment) and yelled, "FINE, let them DIE! Those poor bunnies never get food. I guess I'll have to do it myself, and maybe I'LL DIE on the way." My kids just rolled their eyes. They know that when I'm emotional I'm a total drama queen.

Rule #2 Don't try to have a real conversation with a sick person.

"Mom, do you think that the pioneers walked by our house back in the 1800's." "Probably, you know if I was a pioneer and was as sick as I am I'd probably DIE." My husband has now forbidden me to talk to the children until my fever goes below 100.

Now here is the best advice I can give when dealing with a sick person.

Rule #3 DON'T call to whine about my kids when I'm not rational enough to be nice to you.

On Wednesday (my worst day) I got woken up from a deep sleep by the phone and a mother with a shrilly voice saying that my daughter is MEAN. Now I know this woman and her daughter, and my daughter and I both decided to mutually avoid this family because they are CRAZY! Seriously! I had also talked with teachers who say this poor girl has had problems with everyone . She gets angry about everything, tells her mom, and then the mother "Attacks". So, I knew the attack was coming. Oh but I so hoped it wouldn't come when I was sick. Yet the phone rang with an anonymous caller ID, and I answered. That leads us to rule #4 Don't answer the phone when you are sick.

I warned her I was sick, and that this wouldn't be the best time to talk to me. Oh, but she persisted. I won't go into the details of the conversation, but lets just say that my daughter's biggest offense was "snapping her fingers in a Z". Now this was in response to her daughter calling mine a looser. All I could do was laugh. My daughter has prayed for this girl, kept quiet when she was rude, replied in kind to her nasty letters, and her big offense was snapping her fingers? Oh, and deciding she didn't want to be her friend (which I suspect is the real reason for all the hurt). On another day I would have had empathy. On another day I would have kept my mouth shut. But this takes me back to rules #3 AND #4.

I know, all of this after my last post about the power of negative words, yet with the exception of my own family, I have no urge to repent. Maybe I just spoke truth? We'll see how I feel about that later.

Rule #5 Don't drive when you are sick

Yesterday I had lunch planned with my dad. I was going to cancel, but when I called he was so excited. He'd had my mom iron his jeans so he could look nice, and was wearing the shirt I bought him for Christmas. On top of that he had gotten his eyes dilated and needed a ride home, and third, he was at the bar... counting on a ride home "if you know what I mean".

So, I threw on some clothes, brushed my messy hair and popped a few Advil to take the fever down enough to function. I looked like pale death, but hey, I was doing a good deed. About half way there is occurred to me that my intoxicated father with the dilated eyes would probably be safer on the road than me, but wisdom isn't a strong point in the "sick mind" so I drove on.

I had a nice lunch with my dad. I picked him up at the bar and drove him to the country club for salads (that I couldn't eat). My husband was there on business and was NOT happy I was out of the house, but didn't say too much. The positive thing about being sick is that everyone fears you! After I drove my dad home I appeared back at my house (I think I drove but I don't remember) I awoke to my husband coming home early to check on me followed by my kids getting off the school bus... the rest was a blur.

Today I feel much better. Not good enough to clean the house or anything, but good enough to write, and maybe eat something besides soup for the first time in three days. I'm going to spend some time in the word today. My only prayers these last few days were "PLEASE LORD, let me feel better."

Oh no, my daughter just said she feels bad... she's running a fever. AAHHHHH! Gotta go!


Mrs. Darling said...

Oh my I will pray for everyone there. I hate it when that stuff starts making its rounds!

His Girl said...

oh, guck! so sorry to hear you were so sick, and that mrs. nastypants had the poor foresight to call and give you bizness during your fight for your very life. I'm glad you gave her bizness right back, because sometimes I think people like that continue on because nobody tells them they are out of hand. The truth in love, although when you are sick, they get the modified version... the truth in lub. haha.
great post! now, don't overdo it or you'll be back in bed again (she says from experience)

Chelle said...

So sorry to hear you're all sick! Hope you're feeling better soon.

javamamma said...

Yeah, being sick, fasting, PMS... doesn't the world know to STOP when we're in those modes? Sheesh.

Seriously, hope you're feeling top-notch real soon and here's praying that the rest of your family doesn't follow mom's example.

candi said...

Oh I am so sorry to hear you are sick. But heck, if the husband is encouraging rest, I say you could keep this going for at least a week or 2. Once your feeling better, stay in bed, continue to ball up kleenex and throw them around you, let everyone know how much you appreciate all of the help they are giving you during your ongoing brush with death and watch all of those shows you've tivo'd and not gotten around to.
My that sounds so nice, I think I feel a fever coming.....

Jenny86753oh9 said...

Laughing louder than I should, yet feeling real bad for you!

Becky said...

Ugh...I so feel for you.

HisGirl is right in that sometimes these overprotective mama bears need to be taken to task in love. Oy, my husband is a teacher, and we work with our youth group at church, and have had more than our fair share of dealings with those types of parents.

Hope you and your daughter are feeling better soon!

Anonymous said...

It SO sucks being sick and then having everyone around you not bow down. I just want EVERYone to kiss my feet for a day or two. Is that too much to ask? I think not.


(that was in a Z)

candi said...

PS 3 snaps in Z formation...wasn't that from In Living Color. HaHa I loved that show!!!

MyKidsMom said...

I think I need to print this up for the next time I get sick. Lol And why is it that mom's the only one who DOESN'T get babied during sick time? Atleast you still have your sense of humor, probably a survival technique. Hope you all get better soon!

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said... sorry that you have been feeling rotten.
Can I just tell ya that I CANNOT take Mom's like the one who called you, even on a good day?!
I'm right there with the girls who think that maybe she needed to be enlightened a bit.

Halfmoon Girl said...

Emily- that would be snap, snap, snap, snap, I think! So Karlie- I sympathize, I really do. BUT I have to say that you are also incredible funny when you are sick- I laughed through this post. Ok, not the bully mom part- that just ticks me off- nut the rest was pretty humorous! I love the starving bunnies story. We are so alike! A big Canadian hug to you. Not one word of a lie- I heard on the radio that the Swiss researchers have proclaimed that s*x is the best thing for the common cold. I dunno, I guess you could try that theory. My thought was "who wants to when you are feeling crummy?" My hubby would be all worried about catching something anyways.

Good thing you are delirious- maybe it will help this spastic comment make sense!

Nessa said...

I lock myself in my room when I'm sick because my behavior just is not pretty.

Gayle said...

I still don't understand why the world can't stop when Mom's get sick. Aren't we the ones that keep it spinning?

Hope you feel better soon and that no one else gets it. Except for that whiny mom and her daughter. (oops, a little snarky huh?)

CrossView said...

Glad you're feeling better... Hope your daughter doesn't have what you did!

I'm finally at the point where I revel in illness. My kids don't fuss and they tiptoe quietly. My husband cooks. Life is so good. And just typing that gives me doses of guilt.. =P

EE said...

I'm sorry to hear that you are sick!
Mom's like the one who called you, truly tick me off. I wouldn't have handled that well, if I WASN'T sick:)

Christin said...

Oh yeah. Next time I get sick, I'm referring my husband to this post. Mkay? ;)

I have to say, I'd love to hear about the conversation with the irate parent. Those kinds of talks are never my favorite, but i'm interested in how yours went!

Stacey said...

You're hilarious Karlie--these are rules I need to live by. I can use them, so thanks for a useful post!

The crazy mom, girl get ready they just keep comin. xoxo

PS--hope you're much better by now. Are the bunnies dead?

~Rhen @yestheyareallmine said...

Sorry to hear you are sick hon. Hopefully Ms. Rude will take cue and not bother calling with anymore petty mess!
Praying for a full recovery for you and your daughter!

Happy Elf Mom (Christine) said...

This is why our names and phone numbers NEVER appear in the school directory:

1. I have five boys and don't want the Army recruiters calling in a few years.

2. Situations like you just described.

You have to "opt out" in the first ten days of school with a special form, though. Word of advice for next year.

Happy Elf Mom (Christine) said...

PS. I've linked this to my blog, it's such good stuff worthy of discussion LOL!

carrie said...

I laughed my head off at this post! Because I totally feel your pain and can relate to everything you said.

When I'm sick, every one of my "control my emotions in front of other people" rules flies out the window and I cry about everything. I cried when in labor also. I cannot handle pain, I guess. It turns me into a huge weenie.

You crack me up.