Friday, May 4, 2007

God Is Bigger Than The Wolves

I mentioned on my first post that God was making some BIG changes in my life. My escape from legalism has been a process as God breaks me free, one chain link at a time. Some "links" are bigger and stronger than others.

The thing that keeps me in more bondage than anything else is FEAR. In my adult life I have done far more out of fear than faith, and guess what God wants to change!

That gets me to a major thing God is doing right now...... public school. Yup, you heard me right. We decided to put our 3 oldest children in public school for the last 6 weeks of the year (they just finished up their second week).

How we got there is a long story (I know, I write LONG blogs... but I'll write less when I have less to say (+: ), so if your curious how a legalistic momma that said she would NEVER put her kids in public school had a change of heart, keep reading.

About 4 weeks ago, my husband started mentioning the school in our little town. It is quite small, and we have several Christian friends who are VERY happy with it. My kids have NOT been happy with homeschooling in this "small town" as there is no support and very few other homeschoolers. They had been quite verbal to their daddy about this. I however would NEVER hear this. "Homeschooling is the ONLY way. We tried private school and didn't like it, and I'm not going to feed my kids to the wolves at public school!"

Within a week a series of events led my husband to beleive that putting our kids in for the last 6 weeks of school was what we were supposed to do and he set up a meeting with the superintendent. He reluctantly drug me to the meeting while I said "if one thing freaks me out, the kids are NOT going". So after I grilled the superintendent for an hour expecting to catch him in Christian hating, liberal promoting, man/boy love association, gender bending brainwashing agenda, he suprised me. He was a CHRISTIAN. He agreed with me 100%. In fact, I think he felt more staunchly about the issues than I. Being that it is a small town, they still call the "winter" program, The Christmas program. Their after-school program is at the local church where they DO teach the kids about God, and they teach evolution as a theory.. not a fact.

Wouldn't you think I'd feel better? NOPE. I was still going to homeschool my kids, because public school is EVIL. We've all heard the arguments that it is un biblical to put your kids in public school. That 75% of evangelical kids who attend public school leave the church. Common, I'd have to be a terrible parent to play Russian Roulette with my kid's souls, but my kids were unhappy, my husband was against me, and darn it... God wasn't telling me a darn thing.

I grabbed my bible, and prayed and cried for 2 hours, about the situation. I still heard nothing, God was silent. So I said to my husband. "6 weeks, then if I want to homeschool them next year, it's my call." he agreed, and they were enrolled to start MONDAY!

As I dropped them off for the first day, I felt NO peace. My stomach turned as I went to leave my kids in the hands of the "enemy". I went home and yelled at God "WHY did you let me do this? I am feeding my kids to the wolves!" God, in his BIG God voice said into the very depths of my soul "I AM BIGGER THAN THE WOLVES. TRUST ME"

WOW! Finally a God peace came over me, I had no faith that God could take care of my kid's, NONE, isn't that sad?

Then, later that day the mailman brought me some books I ordered via Amazon. They had taken so long to arrive, I had forgotten about them. One of the books was called "Why Christian Kids Rebel". I sat down with the book and read nearly the entire thing. It was no accident it came when it did.

This book was by far the BEST parenting book I have ever read, because it applied directly to the mistakes I was making. No, I don't have kids currently in rebellion, but I could see it coming. This book talked about over sheltering your kids and keeping them in a spiritual attic, so they could never experience God for themselves. That was huge! My kid's faith was my faith. They never got to witness Gods power in ways that pertained to them, because I was to afraid to let them! My kid's life required them to have no faith of their own. Fine for my 4 year old, but for my 11 year old who was getting fed up worshiping a God she didn't know... it was an issue.

So, wrather that go on forever here, I'll let you know that school is not nearly as evil as I thought. In fact, I see more spiritual growth in my children than I have ever seen. No everything is not perfect, the school has it's issues, but THAT is where we see God working. My oldest daughter is starting to hear God for the 1st time, REALLY hear him.

2 weeks into it, my kids LOVE it. There has been days where tears were shed, but we've had the day that my 6 year old came home and said, "Guess what! Everyone in my class is a christian!" Our reply "how do you know that?" "Because today I shared God with everyone and when I was done, they all decided to become Christians." Or the mother who stopped me and said that my 9 year old was an answer to her daughters prayers. The little girl had been praying for a special friend in her class, and our daughters became INSTANT best friends., Or watching the compassion developing in my oldest daughter. She let an impoverished girl in her class have her favorite sweatshirt, and stood up for some native American kids who were being teased. Pretty amazing stuff for an 11 year old.

I have no idea where God will lead my family next year. Whether it's to homeschool, or public school, I plan on trusting that no matter where God sends us, I can have faith, because God is bigger than the wolves!


Anonymous said...

I have liked homeschooling more than I've disliked public school, if that makes sense. I've just never found one that I liked. We are in a very small town too, unfortunately because of that the school is almost worse. :( But I do believe that the Lord can use public schools. I pray He continues to show you what He has for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Wow! What a tremendous journey and experience. Thank you for sharing. I'm a FIRM believer that God lays these choices and opportunities at our feet for a reason. It seems to me that your children going into P/S has helped glorify Him. I hope His plan for your next school year becomes will. After 46 years, I still am in awe of how when we put our problems or worries and His feet, He sends the answer! Your family is blessed to have a school district that hasn't caved to the anti-christian movement.

And, I'm going to get that book! We don't have a rebellion problem, but I'd like to try to avoid one.

Anonymous said...

What a great testimony! Sounds like your 11 year old has gotten a great grasp at home and is flourishing well. Congrats!

call*me*kate said...

Oh, man! Catching up on your posts has been amazing. I love hearing God's hand on people's lives and your experiences have been really inspiring. I've always felt that homeschooling only works if it's God's will for the family all around. God certainly blesses those who attend all kinds of schools. You really made me think with the idea about letting your kids experience God for themselves. I wondered where I stood on that issue. Now I'll need to pray about how I can do that with my own children (pub. school is NOT an option, however, not where I live!) But I'm sure God will give me guidance, I just need to ask, right? I'm enjoying your new blog.


javamamma said...

Your experience with your public school sounds much like ours. Our district superintendent and principals (at elementary & high school) are all Christians. We know that we know that God led us to put our kids in school last fall, despite unspoken criticism from my family and probably others. Our girls' relationship with God has grown immensely (and so has mine).

I read Grace Based Parenting (by Tim Kimmel) last fall and feel the same way about it that you do about his other book. I believe God has really given him a keen wisdom on parenting!

Chelle said...

Great testimony! It sounds like God is really using your family. Tim Kimmel's books have had a huge impact on our family too (though we still homeschool). Good stuff!

Halfmoon Girl said...

I really enjoyed reading your post. My hubby and I went to a talk Dr. Kimmel did a couple a weeks ago. I really like what he has to say too. I have been thinking about the exact same things and blogged about it a couple days ago. We had our oldest 2 in public school until 2 years ago. GOd laid it on my heart to homeschool them. I am trying to be open if He ever wants me to put them back in. I have fears about it too.

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

Wow. I'm so enjoying getting caught up with you!! I don't think I realized that when you left HSB you weren't homeschooling anymore. I'll probably have a post very similar to this one soon! I would LOVE to do this journey with you! BTW, your neighbor comment on my blog had me ROLLING. Even now I'm smiling remembering.

ConservaChick said...

Sure.. I'd love to have you along for the ride!!!!!