Monday, October 27, 2008

The Wrong Path

This last week I have come to a disturbing realization.

I am not on God's path.

I don't know where I stepped off it.

Heck, I don't even know where it is any more.

Not only am I on the "wrong" path, but I am going down it fast.

So fast that it's only now that I'm realizing I don't know my way back.

My kids feel it.

I feel it.

My husband feels it, but I'm not sure he cares.

I care.

I'm scared...

That even if I find my way back....

I'll have to go it alone.

I'm scared...

That I am totally utterly clueless, and always will be.

I'm scared...

That I will never find my way back.... because I'm too far gone.


Emily said...

Romans 8-26 'In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.'

There is no 'too far'. and heck, I cannot TELL YOU how glad that makes me to type that. To confirm that.
There is no 'yep, that's the last time I forgive you.' and aren't you glad?

My grandfather is nearing his death bed this week. We thought it could be yesterday. I know that he knows the truth deep down and I felt this surge of total peace with his life. Do you know why? Because God is a better parent than I EVER could be...and wouldn't I just do about ANYthing for my children?

Would I put up with their crap (as hard as that may be) and just pray that they come matter how battered or broken up they were?

the answer is yes. I would take them back 100X100X100 times.

So would you. So would He.

I'll pray hard for you Karlie. Tomorrow is a new day. Life always looks better in the morning.

Love Em

javamamma said...

His mercies are new EVERY morning so you can't be too far gone. ((((hugs))))

Gayle said...

That Emily is a wise one. Have you read The Shack? Find it.

Love you sister.

Halfmoon Girl said...

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present and the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord". Romans 8:38-39. You are not alone and you can never be too far away- that is a lie straight from the devil. You are bought and paid for already Karlie and you are His. I am hurting with you as I read these words. I wish quoting scripture and praying would make all the trials disappear. I know it may take tough, tough baby steps, but please know that you are not alone, that you are not the only one that messes up and that you are loved by your Heavenly Father more than you can imagine. Praying, praying, praying for you. Drop me an email if you want a listening ear.

Anonymous said...

My Dear Friend Karlie,

It is NEVER too late to begin again.........

Love ya

carrie said...

Emily said it all perfectly, there is no too far gone as long as you are still breathing. You can always ask forgiveness, you can always call out to Him and get a fresh start on His Path.

*hugs* and many prayers.

Anonymous said...

My life verse: James 4:7-9

Never gone, just misdirected.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you! You can't do it, that is true. BUT He can. With man it is impossible, but with God ALL things are possible. I am reading, "The Normal Christian Life" by Watchman Nee. It is life changing. I highly highly recommend it.
Raise your hands in surrender and He will lift you up.

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

I was just about to say what Jane did...almost verbatim.

That should tell you that your Father wants you to hear it.

Karlie, hang in there, dear one, and turn around. Email me if you want to...

His Girl said...

Romans 8:39
No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Realizing you're off is the first step- you're doing fine... just follow His guidance. Turn to the Word, and head back. U Turns are totally allowed... Just ask Jonah!

Emily said...

Hey, This post made me think of you.

(uh, and me...and her, and him...)

EEEEMommy said...

You've already received such wisdom! I'm praying for you!