Friday, October 3, 2008

Stay at Home Moms Should STAY HOME!

As you know, I've started working at a cafe a few hours a week while my kids are in school. At first I thought it would be "no big deal". The kids are in school, so I'm not missing anything. I still have two full days PLUS the weekend at home to catch up on chores. Oh, and the extra money would be fantastic! I figured it would be ideal.


You can't have BOTH worlds.

I am so exhausted when I get home, making me pretty worthless at night (keep in mind even though I get off work when my kids get off school, I don't get home until after 6:30 because of soccer, dance, etc). I am unable to keep up on daily chores (like laundry, cleaning floors, etc). So, three days a week I get NOTHING done. On the two days off I have such a huge amount of housework, I can hardly catch up. Another BIG negative is: When do I help out at the school? One of the main reasons we felt at peace about putting our kids in school was our personal involvement AT the school. Now I have little to no time to volunteer. NOT good.

Now let's dispel that myth about making money. Lets do a little math.

After taxes I make $150.00 a week

Extra gas to get to work $15
Extra cost of my kids having to buy school lunch $40
Convenience foods for dinner 3X a week $45
Cost of my own lunch 3X a week $15

My total work costs: $115

So, I'm working for basically $35 a week. Pretty dumb huh.

Let's not forget the non monetary costs! Uh, like my sanity. Or maybe my lack of time to exercise? The lack of time I have to be in God's word.

Let me let you all in on a little secret. I miss cleaning my house! Yes, I said it. Oh, and I miss planning frugal menus, and baking for my family. I miss volunteering. I had it SO good as a stay at home mom, I feel almost guilty!

Now I'm left with some choices to make. I just told the cafe I was going down to 2 days a week (which was all I was originally supposed to do, but they keep scheduling me for more UGH.) I want to quit, BUT, I also want to set a good example for my children. If I left immediately I would leave the cafe in a terrible situation (and it's a small town... I'd have serious evil gossip about me). So, I guess we shall see how I get myself out of this one.


Gayle said...

You are worth WAY more than that! Sometimes I think about finding some part time work to help with expenses but I remember the last time I worked and how it took all of my energy with nothing left over for anything else. Now I have more kids and I just don't think I could do it. Sure sounds fun though in a really un-realistic way.

Anonymous said...

We're in the same boat. I so badly want to bring in money to help pay the bills, but I know that it wouldn't be worth my time.

I haven't worked in years so I don't even know if I could handle going back into the work

Halfmoon Girl said...

I found it to be a lot of work when I taught preschool a couple of days a week- I only worked till 2, but getting out of the house in the morning almost killed me! And that was with just 3 kids. Hopefully you can just faze out of your job. I can appreciate you not wanting to leave them in a tough position. I have found that when someone says that they will stay on a job until someone else is hired, often the business is less motivated to find someone. Maybe if you want to quit, you could give them a reasonable time limit.

javamamma said...

I TOTALLY understand where you're at. I decided to quit (and I only work 1 1/2 days). I wasn't working for the {very little} money anyways. My problem? I actually enjoy what I do when I'm there so it seems strange to give it up. But I guess my sanity IS worth SOMETHING! ....and so is yours. :)

Jen said...

I hear you! I have toyed with the idea of WOTH but with 2 kids in school and 2 needing childcare, it's not worth the $$$. I do lots and lots of Ebay to bring in cash for Christian school tuition.

Hang in there!

EEEEMommy said...

Sounds like you've thought it through pretty well. I spent some time recently agonizing about working from home and decided against it. Reading this post encourages me much and confirms my decision. So thanks! :)

Anonymous said...

I think you are realizing that you're much more valuable to your family if you are at home. I think the Lord will bless you tremendously with wisdom and ideas on how to be a full time SAHM and have your financial needs met.

Anonymous said...

My son is 10. He didn't have problems today and I'm hoping that continues. :-D


Latte said...

I work too, but have found a little hidden treasure, called self employment! I clean homes and offices some nights and some weekends-this works better for me because I homeschool. It pays really over $20 an hour well! I get to make my own hours, work as many hours as I want and I get to say I have my own business =) I have been doing it since Sept '01 and I have not advertised since maybe '03 '04. Word of mouth has been all I have needed. At one point I had 5 employees and about 25 or so clients, but that got to be too much on a homeschool mom who just had a new baby so I scaled back to only what I needed.

Just wanted to share that with you so you could have another idea to think about instead of working for someone else.


Family O'Foxes said...

Nice on doing the math on that. A real eye opener.

Growin' With It said...

oh wow. i'm at the threshold on this decision on whether to go back to work or not. this gave me a whole lot to think about! great advice on this one!