Our School Decision

Well, we've made our decision as to what we are going to do about the kids schooling next year.
We spent a good portion of the Summer praying for God's direction, and heard nothing. It was so frustrating. About half way through July, we hesitantly decided to put the kids back in school. I guess we were getting a bit tired of waiting on God. We were so unclear about our direction that we figured it would be easier to pull them out half way through the year than put them back in.
I told my friends, my family, the kids. I was even about to tell my blogger friends when I finally heard from God. I guess we should have waited because God had a different plan. We felt God told us that we were indeed to homeschool, and he sent two BIG confirmations following his word.
So there you have it. Wanting to follow God's will, we will be homeschooling next year.
Now for the confession part. I was REALLY looking forward to putting them in school. I know my kids were only in PS 6 weeks, but my house became so much cleaner, finding time to exercise was so much easier. I didn't feel like I was always running around trying to get everything done because my little mess makers were gone. I could get my hair done, go out for lunch with my husband, meet a friend for coffee. Oh, and I had uninterrupted quiet time; that was so nice.
On the flip side, while the kids were gone, I might have been off duty, but so much more was required of me during their home time. School is definitely a battlefield, and we must pray, equip, pray, talk, and pray in order to make it through. I've met some awesome Christian parents who DO make it work, but I don't doubt for a second their increased prayer labor. I have so much more respect for these families and for their children; they choose to follow God rather than the world that is literally bombarding them 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. It takes a special child, and the Holy Spirit. To try to make it through with out God's blessing, well, that isn't something I'm willing to gamble with; no matter how badly I want a spotless house and some alone time.
Now, the battle is changing my attitude. I'm finding it difficult to get excited about curriculum. I went to a homeschool support group planning meeting and just sat there and didn't say a word (those who know me, know that defies who I am.... I'm a talker, with lots of ideas, who won't shut up unless bribed with dessert ( and that's only while I'm swallowing). I just sat there thinking "I so don't want to be here". I don't want to purchase curriculum, I don't want to clean my house, I don't want to be a part of the homeschool group. Do ya think I'm pouting? I think I'm going to add "being a big baby" to my hobbies list on my profile. I even cried to my husband the other day " You know this is a huge sacrifice, 'cause the house will never be clean again (sob), and I'm gonna get SO fat (sob), and I'll have no friends (sniff), and I gonna buy flowery jumpers and shirts with doily collars (WAHHH)" this is where I fall onto the bed and bawl and my husband asks me if it's that time of month. I did however get a non consequential back rub out of it.
I finally snapped out of my mini depression enough to get the house moderately clean again, and I pulled down my huge Rainbow Resource catalog; and ripped it up and burned it! Kidding, only kidding. I haven't opened it yet, but it's on the table ( I'm taking baby steps). I am praying that God continues to soften my heart, and equip me to accomplish what I need too, regardless of my emotions.