Thursday, August 2, 2007

10 Things You Can Say To Your Husband.....

Have you ever noticed that there are some thing's that you can say to your husband, that he could never say to you. Things that would cause you to freak out, have a teary fit, and unless you are an amazingly mature woman (which I am not) cut off sex for the week. Luckily I have a remarkable (and smart) husband, and not a single one of these phrases has ever been uttered to me (and lucky for him too; ha ha). I can not however claim the same honorable behavior. While most of these things have not been said to him, I must admit to a few, #s 1, 8, and 10 more than once). No wonder his nickname for me is Evil Wife (said in love of course… I hope).

10 Things You Can Say To Your Husband, But He Better NOT Say To You

1.Oh, look at your cute belly; have you been eating extra snacks lately?

2.Maybe we should wax your butt hair.

3.Ew, you need to shave your prickly whiskers

4.Time to get new pants; can you even breathe in those?

5.I think hair loss makes you look more mature.

6.Whew, how long are you going to be in there... Smells like something died?

7.Want me to tweeze your nose hair for you?

8.You take those dirty clothes off before you come in this house!

9.You just don’t clean it right.

10.I’m too tired, maybe tomorrow night

BTW... I finally cleaned my house. It took 4 hours of hard core manual labor to get it looking like normal. Whew, I think I'll keep to the everyday maintenance from here on out.


javamamma said...

Funny stuff. I've said alot of those, atleast paraphrased. But never #10...well, maybe ONCE. ;o)

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

Hilarious. I'm sending my husband here to read it. :)

BTW, I thought of you and your daughter's heaven question this morning when I heard the Rev verse "Then I saw a NEW heaven and a NEW earth, for the first heaven and first earth had passed away." So maybe the heaven we get to go to is the new one with nothing bad; maybe the fallen angels were in the old one?

Chelle said...

Absolutely hilarious. I'm definitely getting Jer to read this. :-)

Anonymous said...

Oh my word! That was tooooo funny!
I have said some of those to my wonderful hubby. LOL I will read him the list when he gets home.

All for His glory, ~Rhen

Emily said...

Only you could type a sentence about butt hair and have it seem okay.

butt hair

I cannot stop laughing.

EE said...

LOL...I'll have to read this to my hubby!

Anonymous said...

You are funny! I have a great husband who has never uttered anything close to any of that. He's a good man. However, I do have a brother who told my PREGNANT sister-in-law, "I don't care how much you're gaining honey, but could we keep it under 300?" For real! ;)

Nan said...

This is SO funny. I can certainly relate to having said a number of these! ROFL! And yah... he'd be dead meat if he said any of them to me! ROFL

Unknown said...

I loved those. I would kill if a man said #1 to me. However it is possible that I have uttered something similar in the past.