I'm sick of all the garbage that people tag on to God. I'm sick of legalistic, holier than thou Christians who want to claim their fear as Godliness. I'm tired of church programs that are set up to help, but instead tear down. I'm tired of hearing whining in charity, obligation in love, and self righteousness in acts. This morning I prayed "God, get rid of all the crap, I just want YOU!"
I want on my face worship. Teary, loud, crazy, unabashed WORSHIP! I want to serve my neighbor out of love... not obligation. I want to love and not judge.
I want to be real!
I slip and say bad words sometimes, and on occasion I drink wine. I loose it with my kids, and don't always submit to my husband (I want to be better, but darn it, no sense in pretending it doesn't happen). I LIKE Santa Claus, and Gwen Stephani, and I let my kids watch Pirates of The Caribbean.. ALL of them!
Some of what I said above God has convicted me about (like the husband thing, and my potty mouth (+:), but many of the others I have no Godly conviction about, and THAT is where I can be in danger of NOT being real. Do I deny these things? Wouldn't that be following others convictions, not my own? YUCK. I'm tired of it!
I JUST WANT GOD! GOD'S RULES, GOD'S LAWS, GOD'S LOVE!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Sick Of It
Posted by ConservaChick at 10:17 AM
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12 comments:
Wow, have I ever been there. I feel like I could have wrote this whole post. I wish we could get together for a cup of coffee (or a glass of wine!) and hash out some of this stuff together.
There's a song by Switchfoot called "Dying to Breathe" that has become real to me lately. It's like God tore away my legalistic, pseudo-Christianity and I'm a baby all over again. I think you might know what I'm talking about. And now I'm learning to breathe, and crawl and live in Him all over again.
I'm continuing to pray with you on your faith journey, my friend.
Well then! Something happen?? Hope you're ok! I like the real you.
I hear ya- keep the main thing the main thing, and that is Jesus!
May I recommend Rob Bell's books? I just finished "Velvet Elvis" at about 12:30 this morning. Such a fresh breath of God-air. Real stuff. Some of it set me saying, "Uhhhh...I don't know about that." But he is the real deal and doesn't claim to have it all figured out. I think that's what I like, people who don't claim to have a 'corner on the market of God', ya know?
I'm with ya, right there on this journey of real-ness in God!
You know, years ago I used to act like an insecure, junior high school kid trying to fit in ~ trying to look around and "be" what all the others were being. I tried to be the bread baking, goat investigating, soap making, herb using, tincture creating, denim jumper wearing (my hubby burst out laughing and said I looked like I was wearing a Baptist Burkha. I only wore it once!) Homeschool-type drone. I couldn't do it. It wasn't me! I'm an artist and show in museums and competitions and you know what? Artsy people behave the same way... the Lemming Mentality. I don't want to be a Lemming... artsy or homeschooled or Baptist or anything. I wanna be the Body of Christ, whether I'm a hand or a toe or an earlobe. I don't want to TRY to fit in anymore. It has been very difficult, very lonely, but very GOOD to just be the person God made me to be. I do homeschool, but you'd never know it by looking at me or my kids. I'm lonely at times because I don't quite fit in, but that's okay.
You know, after I tried to fit in for years, the head of Women's Ministries came to me crying and begging my forgiveness. She said that for years all these women whom I was trying to "please" were deliberately avoiding me, her included. You know why? Not because I'm artsy. Not because I say "crap" once in a while. Not because I like to talk about meaty, doctrinal things, am conservative in my beliefs but listen to Toby Mac and jam to Newsboys. Not because of what I was wearing or doing or behaving. No! She said it was because I'm 5 feet 10 inches tall, blonde, and thin!! She said it made them feel bad about themselves ~ so they were shunning me for something I had basically no control over. It was the proverbial lightbulb moment. Get REAL!! Please GOD!! Please my HUSBAND!! Oh, and seeing how Jesus did everything culturally correct according to Jewish tradition... He DID drink wine (check out any good Jewish Historical book)
Stay REAL. Be HONEST. Continue in TRANSPARENCY because that is when the Light shines through. (Opaque rhymes with fake, by the way.) The friends are few, but the road is good... keep your eyes on the prize, girl! I LOVE your blog, BTW. ~Katherine
Rachelle,
I wish we could get together and hash this out too! I need to check out that song by Switchfoot. I've had songs that have comforted me through seasons, I just love how God sends us a verse, a friend, a song, to lift up and confirm our lessons!
Cindy,
Nope, nothing "happened", just me blowing off steam from an accumulation of events, attitudes, etc. I'm totally OK! Thanks for caring!
Halfmoon girl,
Yup! Way to summarize it!
Javamamma,
I just got that book but haven't sat down to read it yet... I can't wait.
Nsremom,
YES! My thoughts exactly! I often look at the Christian's attitudes around me, on TV, etc and think "No wonder the unsaved hate us!"
Katherine,
You wrote "Not because I say "crap" once in a while. Not because I like to talk about meaty, doctrinal things, am conservative in my beliefs but listen to Toby Mac and jam to Newsboys" You COULD be the tall blond version of me! HURRY UP and get that blog going!!!
Hi Karlie;
We, as Christians are called to be transparent, to be real- we are not supposed to look or speak or act like the Pharisees- somehow we miss that part.
We should live without condemnation (the Word tells us their is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus) If we are convicted on something, then it is our job to look at our lives carefully and get rid of whatever it is that doesn't look or smeill like Jesus. Walk confidently in who you are and how is daily helping you to look more like Him.
From here (LOL) you smell and look like Jesus to me- I enjoy your blog and honestly I wish I could find a friend like you here in Ct- I am tired of being lonely in church-in the homeschooling groups, I don't know maybe I am too real...or maybe I smell (LOL)...anyhow, my heart and life belong to Jesus and He is so good to me. My blog is testimony to his goodness...over and over and over to me.
Bless you- and you can come over to my house anytime(((((HUG))))))
Kimmie
mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted
Kimmie,
Well, I never had anyone tell me I smelled like Jesus LOL. Thank you... I think (;. I too wish we could get together! Wouldn't it be a blast? We'll all meet at Rachelle's, she's got the wine and coffee, and we gotta make Javamamma tag along, I really need to see her and her coffee consumption in action! Ugh, why can't everyone of you bloggers live in my town??? I'd have so much FUN!
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey there: I tagged you for a simple, painless meme.
I have often thought that as Christians we have forgotten to play. We are so consumed with the right and wrong of things that we have forgotten to live life.
My husband and I had this discussion lately after one of my sons ball games. I was sitting by this other dad for a couple of games and I really enjoyed this guy because although he was not a Christian he laughed lots and was enjoying life.
So why don't we who have the most precious gift of real life, not spend more time laughing and living life well? Have we become like the Pharisees, - too consumed with laws and having lost sight of our freedom and Christ's work on the cross?
Where is our joy? Where is the peace that when we screw up we know that God picks us up and restores us? Where is the incredible knowledge that we are loved not because of what we do but because we are His?
I am in this journey with you. May God give us the knowledge to live life well.
Shari
This is an awesome post!
Yes, yes, yes you get it. I heard someone say recently that we were moving out of the "church age" and into a more "relational age". I didn't fully get what he was trying to say - but it rang true in that all that junk needs to go and we need to be left with JESUS - and I didn't say just Jesus because He is enough.
Oh boy - I can feel a post coming on!
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