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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

The "D" Word And The Curse Of The Stretchy Jeans

Usually when I've been "bad" and I start to see the negative effects of my sin... I find something to blame to ease the weight of my conscience. Today, my scape goat is stretchy jeans.

You think they are the best things ever because you can buy a size smaller than you normally wear, and when you eat far to many nachos at the boys ball game, they stretch with you as you eat! Great stuff right?

I loved those guys... I had stretchy jeans in EVERY color, stretchy Capri's, stretchy khakis, stretchy shorts, you name it.... all in sizes that make me HAPPY. Now lately my stretchy pants have been a little less stretchy and a little more snug. I'm not suprised. These last two months I've been eating quite a bit more fast food, ice cream, etc than normal. However I had no clue just how much more than normal.....

Today, I went to put on a pair of shorts I wore last summer.....

(Warning... the description that follows is graphic in nature and may not be suitable for all readers)

.....As I pulled the non stretchy denim size 8 up to my waist I could see that buttoning was going to be an issue. So, my strong willed self set out with all the determination I could muster to accomplish the impossible. I twisted and turned, prayed and swore. I fell back on my bed, kicked up my legs and chanted "I'm still a size 8... I'm still a size 8". I Sucked in, turned red and nearly passed out when finally I got those little suckers buttoned.

With great satisfaction I waddled into an upright position and looked into the mirror. All my fat was squeezed up and over my pants creating an inner tube effect around my mid section.. cute.

Off goes the non stretchy torture device, and I head off to the closet of doom to pull out my scale.

Now before I tell you my deep dark secret (my actual weight) I need to preface it with the fact that two months ago I weighed 145. On my 5'6 frame, it was about 10 more pounds than I like... but still in a healthy realm. Now as I stepped on I expected to see 149, maybe 152 (my previous all time high) but as I watched the number whirl by, it landed on... Oh God NO 157! AAAHHHH!



It is a tragic day. I have surpassed all previous records. I have officially porked up.



Well, OBVIOUSLY this is NOT acceptable, but what to do? I don't really diet, but this kind of number needs more than, "Oh, I'll cut back sugar and run a few laps". THIS my friends is serious intervention time. I guess it's time to go on a "D" word .... ugh a diet. Something with structure.



I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I'm still in that shocked place where I start convulsing ever 10 minutes or so thinking it's just a bad dream.... I'm sure reality will kick in sometime tonight and I'll cry over a pint of Jamocha Almond Fudge

I'm up for tips... condolences...you name it. Welcome to my pity party.

15 comments:

nsremom said...

all I can say is.....I'm with ya gal.

I have no advice. It's funny that when us determined gals set our mind to something we can easily achieve it, but maybe this weight thing has to do with our marriages.....i.e. how nice and good they are. For instance, does chris care about your weight? or are you still the 'hottie' of the neighborhood

I'm gonna wager on the hottie.

My husband doesn't seem to care! Maybe I need one of those phycho husbands that make me feel like crud for ONE day. Maybe that would do it.

He just can't be mean, so it's all on me.

and I like sugar WAY to much right now.

javamamma said...

Yeah, I feel your lament. I'm pudgier than I've ever been, considering I haven't had an infant around in 3 years. My problem is I have a hubby who always tells me how great I look. Doesn't give me much motivation to work on the 10 pounds I've gained in the last 2 years.

A couple years ago (BEFORE the move to our Promised Land) we did the South Beach diet and I slendered down to where I felt good. I keep threatening to pull the book out again but haven't followed through yet.

Hope you get some good ideas. I'll be watching the incoming comments.

Gayle said...

Maybe we should form a club! I'm hovering close to that evil number also and it's the hardest one to get away from.

Gayle

Cindy said...

I need to just say "ditto" to every single utterance from nsremom.

I finally lost a few pounds over the last couple months, but I am guessing that eating ice cream on the couch every night at 10:00 for the last two weeks and only working out once in that time period is going to rise up and bite me in my already-too-large butt!

Can I join you for some jamocha almond fudge while we cry about our "muffin tops"?

Halfmoon Girl said...

My 1st husband was one of those psycho husbands- that is worse on the weight than having a nice one like my husband now. I feel your pain, I am working on losing some pounds to get rid of my inner tube. I am trying to be way more disciplined- exercising daily, drinking lots of water, and cutting out sugar. I am not seeing the results as fast as I used to, but am trying regardless.

midwifemom said...

Hi,
Several of us over at HSB are part of a diet blog. We are bonding over trying to lose weight. Check us out.
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/thedietblog/

reallyniceday said...

Girl, I'm 155 and the same height. The fact that you can button the size 8's is totally awesome.

Me, I'm still in my 13's and not even going there. My plan is to tan first and gain motivation from not having "white flab." I think it'll work.

I also have a great hubby who could care less what I weigh. However with his fasting scedule, I'm getting tired of his "my pants are so loose" comments. Thus, I'm gonna work on mine.

Love ya!

Rachelle said...

I'm with you. I am also trying to lose another 15 pounds to get down to where I would like to be. It's just so much harder to hide it in the summer!!! I joined the May Day Challenge (link on my blog) and it's been good for accountability. We're big fans of the Sonoma diet...really yummy, healthy food and a daily glass of wine. And it works. :-)

Anonymous said...

Oh boy, I've got advice. I knew this old missionary woman who didn't ever have enough money for "fat clothes" AND "skinny clothes". Therefore, when her size eight clothes got too snug, it was her signal to lose some weight. I asked her what she did, and she just simply said, "before I eat, I cut the thing in half, and only eat half. Some people have scolded me for wasting, but I just keep splitting my portions until my clothes are comfortable again. I never ever buy a size ten because I don't have the money to start all new sizes!" She lived to be well into her eighties and never let herself get fat. So, now when I feel my waistband tighten, I don't start eating weird stuff, I just cut my portions of the usual stuff I eat. Works for me!! ~Katherine

ConservaChick said...

Nrsemom, You are so right... it's not the stretchy pants fault, it's my husbands! (+: Funny, I've actually want him to say it bothers him because it WOULD motivate me, but NO.. he's gotta be indifferent.
Gayle, what would we call the club?
Reallyniceday, You JUST had a baby! Your weight only kinda counts. I will however take your tip on "tan flab". THAT is a great way to start a diet!

Kimmie said...

I will add my bit in...after adopting 3 children and suddenly having 6 children, the youngest two are preschool active boys....well I thought my clothes would be rather loose. (you know from doing all that laundry, and not having time to go to the gym anymore.)
Sad to announce my shorts are rather tight and I am cutting back. That and I know I HAVE to step on the scale next week at the Dr. office -need a physical for our adoption paperwork. sigh, a tub of coffee ice-cream sounds like heaven ;-)

Kimmie

javamamma said...

I like the 'cut the portions in half' idea. Somehow it sounds do-able coming from a missionary woman instead of reading it in a 'diet book'. Now I just have to put great ideas into action. Sigh.

ConservaChick said...

Javamamma, Katherine,
I think if I had enough will power to cut my meals in 1/2, I wouldn't be in this predicament, but it's worth a try... gotta be better than eating salads for the next 3 months.

reallyniceday said...

Does that mean half a pint of Almond Jamocha Fudge?

Shari said...

Thanks for being so real. I am so glad that I am not the only one who loves food! I am so lacking will power. I turned thirty-five last year and am not losing a pound to save my life. I need to get serious about seeing my size 8 jeans again. How do you all do any serious exercise with kids around? (and don't tell me to get up earlier)

Shari