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Sunday, November 9, 2008

In Reply To an Old Friend

This post is a public reply to a comment left on my last post.

Elaine, since you publicly posted your personal letter to me on my blog (rather than an e-mail), I am assuming you want a public reply. If that is not what you intended, please tell me and I'd be happy to remove this post.

As a comment to my last post you wrote:

Maybe it is because the bitterness that has been building up. Is starting to show on the outside. Honestly Karly. You never respond to emails. Your last few blogs have become very bitter. I can feel your contempt for the human race (all of us) in your words.
If that is how you come across to your fellow town members, why on earth would they even want to deal with you?
Why do I even read your blogs? Because years ago, you were a very dear friend. I know, you just tolerated me. I'm not stupid. Yet I liked going to the womens groups with you and was even saved at the prayer group. Something I thought would never happen in my lifetime. That was HUGE to me.
Now, everytime I tried to set up a time to come visit, it was always something. You had moved away and didn't have to entertain my friendship any longer.
Bottom line, I was rejected.
Is that how you treat your fellow town members?
Still your friend
Elaine


OUCH! I sit here in awe of this comment. Contempt for the human race? Bitterness?

When one writes a blog it is hard to portray the correct tone. My heart was in no way bitter during my last few posts. My political posts are usually written either with sarcasm or a heart of great concern. I have strong beliefs that I will NOT apologize for. My opinionated nature is, and always has been a big part of who I am. With a title like Conservachick, one should expect this to be a political venting ground. I also don't share my blog with my community. With my husbands position, I have to keep quiet more than I'd like to. Posting serves as a "safe" place to share my thoughts.

As for my last post, the point was to honor my husband as MY hero! I wrote the post mostly for him and guess what... it made him feel loved, respected, and honored. Was I surprised that no one stopped? Yes. However I do not for one moment think it is because I am cruel or "bitter" towards them. People are busy. Chivalry is dying in this "me" focused culture of ours. That disappoints me.

Honestly Elaine. Men seldom open the doors any more, give up their seats, etc. I find this everywhere. Maybe there is an secret international "let's hate Karlie (because of her contempt for humanity) club", but I doubt it. My guess is that ANYONE would have been left standing there on the side of the road.

I am a sarcastic, political, strong willed person Elaine. You know that, but I LOVE the human race. That IS why I care so much. I definitely sin, have bad thoughts about others, whine, and yes... occasionally gossip. I am human. Still, my primary goal in life is to serve God, and that means to serve and love others. While I am tempted to go into the things God has me doing to reach out and love those around me, I feel it would be wrong. My good works are not of my own doing, but of God alone. Still, please know that while I often stumble, my greatest desire is to serve.

Now Elaine, I feel I must apologize for not keeping in better touch with you. My lack of correspondence is in no way a rejection of you. I have not seen one, not ONE of my Washington friends since I have moved. I'm lousy at Christmas cards, even my own relatives get irritated by my lack of response to e-mails. I still love my old friends (you included), I just get overwhelmed with 4 kids, a social husband, church, work, volunteering, and quite honestly, the people God has placed on my heart right here in my very own town. Even blogging (the ONLY way I keep in touch with old friends) often takes a back seat to my busy life, which is why I often go months at a time without posting. With all of my excuses, I still feel terrible that I have not been better about keeping in touch. So Elaine, I AM sorry.

On a last note Elaine, I never just tolerated you. Your friendship was always very real to me. As I have moved around I would often tell people of an old friend I have who is the most loyal person I have ever met. I was talking about YOU. We may be very different from each other, but I always found beauty in you unique personality! And hey, we also had many things in common, like vegetarian food, motherhood, music and art! While our friendship has entered a different season, I have not stopped caring about you.

Elaine, your salvation was very precious to me. I pray that even though I can't be there to watch you grow in your walk with God, you continue to seek his voice and know his love. I am sorry I can't be who you want me to be, but people will always let you down. Our Father however will never reject you, never ignore you, never let you down. NEVER!

With love, Karlie

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Karlie,
I know you ALWAYS approve your comments before posting them.
So I knew no one would see the post unless you allowed it.

I'm sorry if that is how I feel.

I do have bad feelings about the direction of our friendship. I have asked forgiveness on many occassions for the way I feel.

Yes, sometimes your blogs sound very bitter.

If that is just the tone of the post then that is not the Karlie I
remember.

The Karlie I knew was caring and compassionate. Even if she didn't care for something or someone, she never spoke a harsh word. (Lord knows you tolerated me)
I guess that you are able to express your feelings more openly through your blogs.
I am not sorry for telling you how I feel.
I am sorry if those words hurt you.

Elaine

Emily said...

I can vouch Elaine for her other sucky Washington friends. Yep, I'm one of the bad friends who hasn't driven the few hours to see Karlie.

I'm sorry Karlie!! I hope you know that it's from my lameness, not you. Now I'm feeling terrible.

As far as ranting and posting. Rant and post away. It's your blog.

Halfmoon Girl said...

wow, that comment floored me. I perceicd that post in a much different way than Elaine- more of my husband is a hero kind of way, like you mentioned you intended it to be. I like reading your posts as I know you are always "real". That was a gracious reply- hope you two can work it out.

andysbethy said...

So, I have to say, I don't actually "know" you. Against my original plans, I have gone out into the wide wide world of blogging and found "friends" that I don't actually, physically know. And I don't know your history with Elaine, whoever she is. But, I have to tell you that you have been a blessing to me. Your blogs, sometimes sarcastic, sometimes serious, often laughter inducing, have brightened my day, and made me think, and brought me closer to my savior.
So thank you, my friend.
I'm sorry no one stopped for you, but I'm pretty sure my hubby would have, if he had seen you... of course, that would require us being in the same state! I am glad you have your "knight in shining armor", and I am so, so, so glad you take the time to tell him how much you appreciate him. Just keep being you, okay?

ConservaChick said...

Emily,
My point was that I was the sucky friend not you! I have not made the effort to see anyone! Grr, I guess I better get my butt in the car for a visit one of these days...SOON. It's been... GASP 3 years! ~K

Candy said...

well.

honestly, sometimes the healing can't begin until we have an audience to cheer us on.

(((BY THE WAY....YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE TAGGED ON MY BLOG. SORRY. IT HAPPENS....YA MIGHT AS WELL PLAY ALONG;-)

Francine said...

Karlie,
I have been reading your blog for a while now and never commented this time I feel I need too. I just want you to know I think that you are doing a wonderful job on your blog and with your posts. One of the very reasons that I read your blog is you are very real. Ironic I just posted a post on my blog tonight titled "lets get real" all about me and what I think and feel. I have no doubt I will hear from someone over it. Thats ok though because we need to be honest and real about things. You always write with frankness but in a way it does not seem harsh. SO keep on girl.. keep on. God bless you sweetie.. I know you encourage me ALL the time..
Hugs,
Francine Howell
itsallaboutlovedeanandfrancine.blogspot.com/

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

Welp. I love ya, girl.

Glad you're at peace with the human race again. Kumbayah. ;D