In Reply To an Old Friend

This post is a public reply to a comment left on my last post.

Elaine, since you publicly posted your personal letter to me on my blog (rather than an e-mail), I am assuming you want a public reply. If that is not what you intended, please tell me and I'd be happy to remove this post.

As a comment to my last post you wrote:

Maybe it is because the bitterness that has been building up. Is starting to show on the outside. Honestly Karly. You never respond to emails. Your last few blogs have become very bitter. I can feel your contempt for the human race (all of us) in your words.
If that is how you come across to your fellow town members, why on earth would they even want to deal with you?
Why do I even read your blogs? Because years ago, you were a very dear friend. I know, you just tolerated me. I'm not stupid. Yet I liked going to the womens groups with you and was even saved at the prayer group. Something I thought would never happen in my lifetime. That was HUGE to me.
Now, everytime I tried to set up a time to come visit, it was always something. You had moved away and didn't have to entertain my friendship any longer.
Bottom line, I was rejected.
Is that how you treat your fellow town members?
Still your friend
Elaine

OUCH! I sit here in awe of this comment. Contempt for the human race? Bitterness?

When one writes a blog it is hard to portray the correct tone. My heart was in no way bitter during my last few posts. My political posts are usually written either with sarcasm or a heart of great concern. I have strong beliefs that I will NOT apologize for. My opinionated nature is, and always has been a big part of who I am. With a title like Conservachick, one should expect this to be a political venting ground. I also don't share my blog with my community. With my husbands position, I have to keep quiet more than I'd like to. Posting serves as a "safe" place to share my thoughts.

As for my last post, the point was to honor my husband as MY hero! I wrote the post mostly for him and guess what... it made him feel loved, respected, and honored. Was I surprised that no one stopped? Yes. However I do not for one moment think it is because I am cruel or "bitter" towards them. People are busy. Chivalry is dying in this "me" focused culture of ours. That disappoints me.

Honestly Elaine. Men seldom open the doors any more, give up their seats, etc. I find this everywhere. Maybe there is an secret international "let's hate Karlie (because of her contempt for humanity) club", but I doubt it. My guess is that ANYONE would have been left standing there on the side of the road.

I am a sarcastic, political, strong willed person Elaine. You know that, but I LOVE the human race. That IS why I care so much. I definitely sin, have bad thoughts about others, whine, and yes... occasionally gossip. I am human. Still, my primary goal in life is to serve God, and that means to serve and love others. While I am tempted to go into the things God has me doing to reach out and love those around me, I feel it would be wrong. My good works are not of my own doing, but of God alone. Still, please know that while I often stumble, my greatest desire is to serve.

Now Elaine, I feel I must apologize for not keeping in better touch with you. My lack of correspondence is in no way a rejection of you. I have not seen one, not ONE of my Washington friends since I have moved. I'm lousy at Christmas cards, even my own relatives get irritated by my lack of response to e-mails. I still love my old friends (you included), I just get overwhelmed with 4 kids, a social husband, church, work, volunteering, and quite honestly, the people God has placed on my heart right here in my very own town. Even blogging (the ONLY way I keep in touch with old friends) often takes a back seat to my busy life, which is why I often go months at a time without posting. With all of my excuses, I still feel terrible that I have not been better about keeping in touch. So Elaine, I AM sorry.

On a last note Elaine, I never just tolerated you. Your friendship was always very real to me. As I have moved around I would often tell people of an old friend I have who is the most loyal person I have ever met. I was talking about YOU. We may be very different from each other, but I always found beauty in you unique personality! And hey, we also had many things in common, like vegetarian food, motherhood, music and art! While our friendship has entered a different season, I have not stopped caring about you.

Elaine, your salvation was very precious to me. I pray that even though I can't be there to watch you grow in your walk with God, you continue to seek his voice and know his love. I am sorry I can't be who you want me to be, but people will always let you down. Our Father however will never reject you, never ignore you, never let you down. NEVER!

With love, Karlie