Friday, March 7, 2008

Character Flaws Revealed

Today I had an epiphany (I've been known to have those occasionally). It occurred to me that I was not growing up properly. OK, I know that's a vague and confusing statement, but let me explain. Now that I am 30, I feel like I should be, well... more mature. My husband is growing up quite nicely. He wears suits to work and is reliable. He can interact with other adults in a perfect manor. He is conservative in all natures, reads the paper, and flosses. He goes to bed on time, and cleans out his truck regularly. Those are all very good "adult" things to do.

Now there is me. I'm disorganized. I eat salsa for breakfast, and I dance for hours to loud crazy music. Shouldn't I like "big girl" music choices by now? You know, like John Tesh? When should I stop loving Punk, Crunk, and Hip Hop, and head over to soft jazz?

I still twirl around outside to make myself dizzy. I love to stand in the rain.

I don't like housework, and it takes every bit of my strength to actually do it.

I like constant change and become easily bored. I like to play with lip gloss, and day dream.

I can stay up all night reading, or writing, or listening to music. I often jump on our trampoline (all of our farmer neighbors think I'm insane).

I have a hard time enforcing rules... Heck, I have a hard time following them.

Women's groups usually make me nauseous.

I like formal events... but only when I'm in the mood to play dress up.

I'm selfish, and self centered, and ate eclairs for dinner.

I can only pretend relate to "normal" society. I try really hard to care about what people think, but I just don't have it in me.

I dance and raise my hands and loose myself in worship. Subsequently, I make a terrible baptist and think I need to head back to a Charismatic church to be with "My own kind" (;

I feel bad for my husband. I know he so badly wants a wife that is organized, and politically correct, with manicured nails and normal shoes. But the poor guy got me. A bare foot Jesus freak who is flighty, disorganized, and immature.

As time passes, it concerns me that these things are not just flaws of my youth... but who I am.

Right now, as I get into the word, I'm really appreciating John the Baptist. The guy was pretty out there, but Christ didn't say, "hey, grow up and act normal". Christ used John in a powerful way, just the way he was.

I know Christ can use me, despite all of my flaws. In fact, when I dance in the rain... I can feel him there with me. Meeting me where I am at, and loving me just as I am.


Becky said...

John Tesh?! Ack!

Loved. This. Post! Be your wild and crazy self, I say. Besides, that's probably part of what drew your hubby to you in the first place! ;)

And what's wrong with salsa for breakfast?

Halfmoon Girl said...

Loved this post. I will rain dance with you anytime- but not to John Tesh. I bet your hubby loves your untamedness more than you think he does!

Anonymous said...

What about Yanni? All of us 30-somethings love him...psyche! Who makes up of the rules of what grown up is? It isn't all that fun and my 8yo ds has starting telling him he dosen't want to grow up, I can't blame him. Be proud of what makes you different that's the way God made you. Rock on (just not to John Tesh)!

Terri said...

I'm that person you say you should be. I admit I like John Tesh. Yes, I'm rather boring, I suppose. I wish I were more like you. Sounds like you soak up life. And yes, God can use you just the way you are just as I pray God uses me just the way I am.

Chelle said...

From one free spirit to another...just be you, girl!! We love you just the way you are. My hubby...a grown-up 30-year old who wears a suit everyday and works far too much in his financial career...often shakes his head at his very boho, vegetarian, disestablishmentarian (okay, I'm exaggerating) wife. But he loves me anyway. And I'm sure your man does too. I found myself watching High School Musical 2 (gasp!)with my daughter last week and giggling over Zac I guess I haven't grown up either. But we had fun, so it's all good. :-)

His Girl said...

I actually got forced to a john tesh concert. trust me. it's not what it's cracked up to be... go on bein' who God made you to be, or else you won't be able to do what He made you to do!!!!

Anonymous said...

Love God with all you are and love others too! If you are doing this don't worry about the rest.


Gombojav Tribe said...

This is my favorite line: "I make a terrible baptist and think I need to head back to a Charismatic church to be with "My own kind" (;"

I bet your own kind are missing you, too! :-)

Emily said...

Yeah, what's with all of your comments freaking over John Tesh?

He aint poison.

And different is cool. Spunk is one of my favorite qualities to look for in a friend.

Christin said...

Simply said... You are stinkin' adorable.

javamamma said...

I bet your husband married you because you weren't 'all grown up' like him. And I bet him being a little more, uh mature and responsible played into your attraction to him. Sometimes we forget why we fall in love in the first place.

Here's to - you being you and him being him and reveling in your differences and what you each bring to this planet!

Stacey said...

You know we just had this discussion in our small group (we're semi-Baptists, lol)....after a new family joined and the dad is always hollering 'CMON...BRING it!" when our pastor speaks. It's kind of funny, really. Actually, very funny! I'd so love to hang with you, depite our decade of age difference. I'm a bit of a Peter Pan myself.

John the there's a very cool guy who know what he needed to do and he got 'er done! xo

Anonymous said...

Nah, don't go back to the charismatics. The Baptists need you.

MyKidsMom said...

They say it takes all kinds- and without all kinds life would surely be boring.

And just to let you know- we Baptists could use more people like you. Church IS a place of worship, but what's up with being more excited about a ballgame than what's going on in the house of God? Keep that enthusiam, sister!

Alpha Dude said...

No character flaws, just character.

You go, girl!

Gayle said...

All I can think when I read this is that I need a little more of what you've got!

I turned 36 today and I still don't feel grown up. I keep waiting for the adult feeling to start but I'm starting to believe it's a myth.

Anonymous said...

We need to rock out to the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Remember when you were young enough to appreciate a rock band? Remember when Your hubby had long hair and a beard. Same guy just had that Oprah makeover. I miss you sooooooo
much. Love Elaine

ConservaChick said...

I still appreciate rock bands! My new favorite is Family Force 5. I dare anyone to go check them out! ( ;

I miss you too Elaine. ~K

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

I just kinda sorta posted about this same thing.
I can't stand stiff and fake. YUCK, YUCK, YUCK!!!
So twirl and eat and say what ya gotta say...that's the way we like you anyway.

Anonymous said...

Those are not character flaws and if they are then I am flawed right there with ya honey!!
I think you probably counter your husbands personality just as nicely as I do mine. We are two halves to a whole and together we make a great grown up but apart he is serious and I am crazy. I know why God put us together.

CrossView said...

I love this! =D

Your description fits me, too.... And I used to wonder how and when to grow-up. But thankfully, my husband loves me precisely because I'm not like him- which means we just balance.

Leanne said...

Your post had tears welling up in my eyes, in fact I can barely see to type this comment!

Karlie, you are passionate. You are intense. You're deep and knowing and spiritual. I often feel just the way you do.....and I'm older than you by a good 5 years!

I do feel more comfortable in my own skin this year, finally, after 35 years of being me. I often feel not ready to be an adult...surprise, with almost 15 years of marriage under my belt and 6 children, uh, it's time to grow up, isn't it???

But when you said that when you dance in the rain you often feel Him there with you, ah, I can relate. I hear His voice in the wind and feel His presence intensely in the rain. I can divine His whisper when I hear my wind chimes call.....

So you're not alone.....

And you're not meant to be someone else.....

Embrace you. What God wants to change, He will in time, He's gentle that way.....

But what He doesn't want to change about you makes Him happy. That's why you're still you!

Be at peace.

Leanne in Longview WA

EE said...

Women's groups make me naseous, too!
I think you have to be over 60 to truly appreciate John Tesh.
It looks like you and I have a lot in common...keep kickin' it, girl!

Anonymous said...

I hope you are having a good month. Miss hearing from you.

Have a blessed Easter!


Anonymous said...

WHO is John Tesh?!?!? I am too young for that I guess...I am going on 29!(for the rest of my life)! I get lost in worship too- raising my hands and I CAN NOT stand still! I needed to hear this post- see, maybe you are already doing what God intended! I am NOT immature, I'm God's- I'm ME!

Christin said...

You doing okay? Miss "hearing from" you and your blogdom insights. ;)

annieology said...

My long lost twin. I eat chocolate cake for breakfast anytime it is available. Hate to clean, whine about it when I do. I used to have to force my MUCH more grown up husband to take me to the carnival anytime it was in town. I can't get enough of the Tilt-a-Whirl, now hubby tries to find carnivals that I am unaware of and surprise me. Also when we come upon one, we immediately stop the car and go for a ride. And because he does that I make the bed almost every day.
Glad I found you