Excuses, Excuses

Well, I guess blogging just isn't happening for me these days. Everything is going well here... but I am busy, maybe too busy.

In bulletin points, I'll give you "no blogging" excuses.

* My 9 yr old daughter is well into her gymnastics season, and scoring mostly in the nines. YEAH!

* My oldest daughter is getting ready for her ballet recital and a dance troop competition.

* My two boys have begun their baseball season. With two practices a week and 1 - 2 games. I'm SO glad it's a short season.

* I've been a good wife and have been attending more of my husband's work functions... without too much complaining.

* I've been making it to the gym 4 times a week. Yeah, I'm bragging.

* We've had kid drama. My oldest daughter (12) thought she wanted a boyfriend for a few days (she met him at church, not school so no comments on the "evils" of public school please). I freaked out, made her read every book on "not dating" (I Kissed Dating Goodbye, etc). By the time I calmed down, she was over it (and him).

* It's birthday season. All 4 of my kiddos and myself have Birthdays in March, April, and May.

* My kids are all doing super fantastic at school (honor roll and up!) Nope that's not an excuse for not blogging, just bragging again (:

* We are heading back to our old church. The crazy children's pastor's last day is tomorrow, so the 1st week in April we are going back to charismatic. We do have some concerns, but mostly feel peace (I'll post all about it later).

* After lots of prayer, my husband and I have officially decided that we ARE sending the kids back to public school again next year. For the most part, it's been a good experience (besides the two months we spent sick), and where we are supposed to be for now. Obviously, if I felt God say otherwise, I'd obey. But, as it stands, they are heading back.

* I'm still getting over a head cold and feel a bit fuzzy.

* I've been REALLY into some great books lately, so blogging hasn't been my first choice for my leisure time.

So there you have it. I'm sure I'll get back into the blogging groove again, but for now, I'm taking it easy. I do miss you all, and hope to spend more time reading what all of YOU have been up to! ~Karlie

Character Flaws Revealed

Today I had an epiphany (I've been known to have those occasionally). It occurred to me that I was not growing up properly. OK, I know that's a vague and confusing statement, but let me explain. Now that I am 30, I feel like I should be, well... more mature. My husband is growing up quite nicely. He wears suits to work and is reliable. He can interact with other adults in a perfect manor. He is conservative in all natures, reads the paper, and flosses. He goes to bed on time, and cleans out his truck regularly. Those are all very good "adult" things to do.

Now there is me. I'm disorganized. I eat salsa for breakfast, and I dance for hours to loud crazy music. Shouldn't I like "big girl" music choices by now? You know, like John Tesh? When should I stop loving Punk, Crunk, and Hip Hop, and head over to soft jazz?

I still twirl around outside to make myself dizzy. I love to stand in the rain.

I don't like housework, and it takes every bit of my strength to actually do it.

I like constant change and become easily bored. I like to play with lip gloss, and day dream.

I can stay up all night reading, or writing, or listening to music. I often jump on our trampoline (all of our farmer neighbors think I'm insane).

I have a hard time enforcing rules... Heck, I have a hard time following them.

Women's groups usually make me nauseous.

I like formal events... but only when I'm in the mood to play dress up.

I'm selfish, and self centered, and ate eclairs for dinner.

I can only pretend relate to "normal" society. I try really hard to care about what people think, but I just don't have it in me.

I dance and raise my hands and loose myself in worship. Subsequently, I make a terrible baptist and think I need to head back to a Charismatic church to be with "My own kind" (;

I feel bad for my husband. I know he so badly wants a wife that is organized, and politically correct, with manicured nails and normal shoes. But the poor guy got me. A bare foot Jesus freak who is flighty, disorganized, and immature.

As time passes, it concerns me that these things are not just flaws of my youth... but who I am.

Right now, as I get into the word, I'm really appreciating John the Baptist. The guy was pretty out there, but Christ didn't say, "hey, grow up and act normal". Christ used John in a powerful way, just the way he was.

I know Christ can use me, despite all of my flaws. In fact, when I dance in the rain... I can feel him there with me. Meeting me where I am at, and loving me just as I am.

Beautiful Prison

When I was a child, I would dream that I was running. I would run as fast as I could, but would go so slow. I could never pass the top of my driveway. My demons always a few steps behind me.

As a teenager, I loved to run. I would burst out my front door and fly up my long driveway. I would raise my hands high to the heavens as I cleared that last stretch of concrete and stepped into the asphalt of the road. Freedom.

Suddenly, running is good for me again. The sound of my heart beating in my chest, my sweat and tears mixed as one. Country air laced with dust and cold. Spring wheat, new and green in contrast to cherry orchards brown, twisted "winter dead" trees, life not yet stirring inside.

Farmers stop their trucks, offering rides "home". Do I look that out of place? Here in my beautiful prison?

A farm hand with his cold blue eyes stops to talk…. Stuck in his “city” home, the land calls his name, spits him out but keeps me here. Can’t it see how he loves it? Can’t it see that I don’t?

My speed picks up. I watch the sky blur into the hills. I breathe. Methodic steps on cracked dusty roads. With arms stretched out to the heavens, I scream out “blessed be thy name. When the road is marked with suffering, BLESSED BE THY NAME.”

Anger, rebellion, loneliness, disgust, pity, lust, responsibility, hatred, sorrow, fear, stuck at the doorstep of my home. My body carries me…. I am in control of how fast, how far, how long.

When my legs will go no further, and my heart is weak, I find myself back at my front door. I always linger, taking in those last few minutes of freedom.

Then, I open my front door, and I step back into my life.

Thanks

Thank you all for your prayers. My daughter woke up healthy Sunday morning. GOD IS GOOD! I also appreciate all of the health advice ~Karlie

PRAYER REQUEST

Well, I've wanted to write a post for quite some time. It's too bad that when I finally do, it has to be for this, but I am seeking your prayer for my sick family, especially my daughter Lilly.

Ever since we started school (just a coincidence?) my family has been CONSTANTLY ill. First we had the flu, then the stomach flu, then strange fevers. Then colds with sinus infections, and just this last week, my son had the WORST case of diarrhea I've EVER seen, and my youngest son had infantigo! On top of that I got strep last week and spent most of the week in bed. Through all of this my 9 year old daughter has been sick the most. She has had blood tests (all normal), but every week, she seems to get sick... AGAIN. I'm really worried about her.

Also, she missed her first gymnastics meet of the season (because she was sick in the emergency room), and was so excited to compete this Sunday. Oh, but you guessed it, this morning she woke up sick. My heart breaks for her, and I'm worried.

Would you all please pray for my daughter? I ask for healing prayers for her, and that sickness is banished from my home! My prayers have been that she wakes up tomorrow perfectly healthy, and that God wraps all of my children in good health.

I also ask for wisdom. Should I pull my daughter out of school for a time to recuperate and build up her immunity? Should I anoint my home with oil? I already disinfected my home, my daughter's classroom (yes her teacher thinks I'm a FREAK), etc. What other steps should I take?

I thank all of you friends for your prayers.