Sunday, February 10, 2008

One Month Later

Here I am, one month into our public school adventure. How have things changed?

Well, I have a lot less time than I used too. Surprised? Me too! All this time I thought I would have freed up by putting my kids in public school, just isn't there. Don't get me wrong, I obviously don't have little kiddos messing up the house, or hours of discipline and education to administer, but an entire new set of activities have quickly taken its place.

I have been enjoying the gym 3 - 4 times a week. Yeah, I know, that might sound like a benefit, but who really wants to go and sweat for 2 hours, while wearing unflattering Lycra, and huffing to keep up with a 70-year-old man, (he kicks my elliptical butt)? Not my idea of fun, but the jeans are getting quite loose, so there ARE benefits.

I have been helping at the school quite a bit. This has been the MOST rewarding. My kids really don't need any help (honor roll babies thanks to that homeschool edge) but I do get to pour energy into the needy kids in their classes. I have one little boy who doesn't have a mother that loves to follow me around. He asked for my phone number... he he. I've met a five-year-old girl who is an orphan. When she asked me why I help out in class, I told her because G*** is my son, and I love him and want to be near him. She flung her arms around me and said, "Oh, that is so wonderful". This little girl is un bathed and neglected, so when I come into their class, she comes up to me and plants herself on my lap and stares. "I love your pretty hair, and your pretty face. I love that you smell like flowers, and that you wear earrings." It brings tears to my eyes. I want to take her home and clean her up! Let her touch her own soft hair, let her smell sweet lotion on her own skin, give her the confidence to see her own pretty face.

I've been quilting! YES my friends, I am tapping into my inner domestic self! I'm almost finished with an actual quilt. OK, maybe it's more of a wall hanging, but at least it's more than a pillow!

I have been cooking quite a bit more now that I can. Our meals are healthier, and I've been saving some $$$!

The best thing I've been doing with my time is a regular quiet time. Not just a little devotion, but a good hour of prayer and scriptures. It has been wonderful to enter into this much-needed season of spiritual growth.

Now before you think it's all just pure bliss, I should also tell you that my kids are exposed to a whole lot of GARBAGE! Daily, they come home with things I wish they didn't know. From perversion, to faulty science. We are dealing with issues daily. My daughter does not care for her teacher, as he often talks about how great "Hillary" is, calls Huckabee, Huckleberry, and tells the class that the world is ending due to global warming. Only the Holy Spirit has kept me from flying off the handle here, but God has said "wait... wait until the time is right."

My youngest son doesn't like school, and often cries in the morning about going. He told me the other morning that he couldn't go to school because school was from the devil (yeah, he's a manipulative genius like that). No, he doesn't really believe that, but he's tried everything else. One morning while waiting for the bus, I asked him "honey, why do you want to stay home so bad?" I figured he would say "because I miss my mom" or "because I like learning at home". Nope, you know what he said? "I miss my tendo (Nintendo)". Therefore, I kissed his little cheek, zipped up his jacket, and put him on the bus.

Kids are mean. Teachers can be liberals. Recess aids are scary. School is rough! Do I love it? Heck no. Yet as I sometimes desire to yank my kids out, I hear God's gentle reminder "I called you here, remember?"

God is actually revealing a lot about the whys I have been called out of homeschooling. It was my vision. Not my family’s vision. While it may be a great vision, it was time for me to step out of spiritual authority, and let my husband step up. Oh my, does this take faith! As I step out, I wonder, will my shoes be filled? Yet I know God would not have me step down, unless it IS his intention to put my husband in his rightful place.

Can I say it again? It is so hard to let go! My hands could no longer hold onto my vision. While it might fall into ruins at my feet, my husband will undoubtedly be called to pick it up. Will he obey his call?


Anonymous said...

It is okay to bring the unfortunate into our homes.
(possibly the little orphan girl)
It is not always comfortable but
it allows us to use the grace that we are bestowed. All children need love and nurturing and are able to accept it from pure strangers when desperate. I am proud of you. You are a wonderful mother and loving wife. Now you will be able to become the person that you are looking for.

Christin said...

I've been meaning to ask you how things were going. And I'm so glad that you shared both sides of it, as we've been flirting with the idea of putting our oldest in school next year. Due to some changes that will be taking place in my family next year.

So good to hear your take on it all. Sincerely.

But on that note, I may ask you for another "evaluation" a few months from now. Just think of it as yet another Parent-Teacher Conference.

Well...In an informal, blog style kind of way. You being the teacher. Me being the curious parent that may or may not follow in the same path you've taken. ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh Karlie...I am so proud of you. I can only say that sometimes, giving up our dreams are just the catalist that allows us to see God's dream for us - and it's always much better than anything we imagined for ourselves.

You brought me to tears with the description of the little boy and girl at school. There is no doubt that God's hand is in this.

I know the kids are having to deal with some pretty harsh issues regarding basic survival in a public school system. Since, at this time in your life, you need to keep them in public school, you know that you need to let go and trust God to protect them and to use them as shining examples of His love patience,and forgiveness. That doesn't mean you don't watch them like a hawk though!

As far as worrying about stepping out of the spiritual authority of the family and allowing your husband to take the role - It's all for the good Karlie.

A great leader is not someone knowledgable in everything, he is someone who knows how to bring the knowledgeable people to him. He may make the untimate decisions, but he brings the knowlege of others to the table and takes their advice.

Karlie, you will give him great spiritual advice and he will listen because he wants to be a great leader (you can have him read this if you like). And you will abide by his decisions as the spiritual head of your family (he'll like that part).

Karlie, you know all the stress you've been under with the decisions YOU'VE made? Let your husband take some of that burden from you. His shoulders are wide and his faith is strong.


PS: You don't need to post this if you don't want to- it was just the easiest way to tell you just how much I love you and how very proud of you I am.

Emily said...

When does life EVER get easy, huh? I wanna know someone with an easy life. 'Cause it might not be the life for me afterall.

It's the hard stuff that produces the real fruit. If we follow Him, right?

Gayle said...

Wow! Just reading that I can see you are in a really good place. And whoever GG is, they've totally got it going on. Great words!

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

He will pick up the ball, girl. As in my case, I had such a tight grip on the proverbial ball that my dh didn't think that he *could* touch it. When I put it down, he picked it up and wonderful things have happened since then. Hang in there...
Just thinking of that little girl and boy breaks my heart. Absolutely breaks it. ;(

MyKidsMom said...

Thanks for sharing the pros and cons. Homeschooling my kids works for me now, but I know that it doesn't work for everyone, and how important it is to follow hubbys leadership.
It brought tears to my eyes when you described the little boy and girl, reminds me of several of my sunday school bus kids...I hope you are able to make a difference in their little lives.
Thanks again for sharing~

EEEEMommy said...

Wow! What an update! I'll continue to pray for all of you!

javamamma said...

Letting go of control and seeing things fall rocks my world but sometimes it's the best thing. Praying for you guys.

david mcmahon said...

Came here from Bubba's Sis,

Your son isn't the first young male to miss his Tendo. I know a few like that ....

I'm a father of three kids!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment!! That's so awesome that your daughter is into gymnastics. I loved reading this post and look forward to reading upcoming posts. Take care and God bless!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update. I look forward to hearing how God will continue to work in your family.


rylie's mom said...

I just found your blog and I'm really enjoying it. I have a 9 year old daughter named Karlie, spelled the same way. I never see anybody else spell it this way.
Anyway, I have my kids in public school. I have been happy w/ the teachers. Karlie's teacher last year was actually a sunday school teacher at our church. I also have a daughter with special needs, so I would not have the patience or know how to home school her. Well, just wanted to say Hi!

CrossView said...

Thank you so much for sharing your heart and life. It's such an inspiration to follow along and see where God takes this. But since He IS the ultimate multi-tasker, there may be so many aspects He has His hand in that you may never see all the lives touched by your obedience to Him.

Happy Elf Mom (Christine) said...

My older two children are in public schools as well. I hate to assure you that the ungodly influences get worse the older the children are.

SO far, by God's grace and mercy, my older children are not dating and having sex or doing drugs. I think one of the more heartbreaking things OVER TIME when you have kids in p.s. is when you KNOW kids into drugs and remember them from when they were littler... :[

Stacey said...

It sounds as if you have indeed made the right choice for yourself, Karlie, and wow you do more in one day than I ever did in an entire school year when I wasn't homeschooling my son. xoxo

Amanda said...

Thank you for sharing your perspective. My kids are in public school, though I often wish I could be homeschooling them. My DH is just not there either -- hopefully just not yet, instead of not ever.

Regardless, I appreciate your perspective. I often feel guilty for being a Godly mommy at home while my kids are out in the big, bad, scary world of public school. Reading this today reminded me there are more of us out there submitting whether we like it or not.

Becky said...

Sometimes the Lord calls us out of our 'comfort zone' to stretch and grow us, and to use us in a new place or new ways...which it sounds like He's doing with you in their school (how cool is that?)!

My younger siblings and I grew up 'sheltered' in a Christian school during my early elementary years, and didn't want to go to the big, bad, public schools...but finances deemed it necessary. In the end, the transition was what put feet to our faith, cementing those things we'd been learning at home and church, and putting them into action in our lives.

That early training was what equipped us to learn to stand firm in the faith (on our own two feet) in this fallen world.

Being there for the kids, to clear up any misunderstandings that they come home with is key. It sounds like they are already beginning to discern right from wrong, which is great!

Misc. Muse said...

I've never laughed so hard, your blog is a hoot- Old lady diaper. My ds called them bandaid, those are awful big bandaids momma. Those preacher stories.
My heart breaks at the orphan girl and little boy without a momma.
I homeschooled 24yrs. The last one would have gotten into so much trouble in public school. I am glad you've chosen to be at the school so much. I still say, WE are the missionaries to those children, God didn't call our children to be the missionaries.