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Saturday, December 15, 2007

Fake Smiles and My Son... The Ladies Man

Where is the time going? I've had such a busy week, and it won't let up until after Christmas. I've had the desire to write, but so little time to do so.

We have been doing the Christmas party thing.... with another party tonight. After this, only one more to go! YEAH. I am trying to like these things, because my super social husband LOVES them, and, I DO get new dresses out of the deal. So, time to plaster on the fake smiles and keep my mouth shut about politics and religion, while eating stuffed mushrooms and sipping champagne. Shallow conversations and egos abound. S-L-O-W death for non surface dwellers like me. Oh, but I'm a big girl (did I say I get new dresses?) and I can handle it. I can be shallow... for a good five minutes. That's where sipping champagne comes in handy. My mouth is preoccupied!

Oh, I do have to share, last weekend we went to a charity event, and they had a female pastor stand up to pray. She was abrupt, and new agey, and called God a "she". At that point she went on to pray to Mohammad. I felt a sharp pinch in my right thigh as my husband with pleading eyes and clinched teeth whispered "don't". Oh oh oh, but I must! Quickly I scanned the room looking for someone to unload on. Then I spotted her. A few yards behind me a wild charismatic from my old church sat snickering with her husband. Perfect. I hiked up my skirt and made a quick bee line (that might have got me a place on the football team) right to her. 20 minutes of righting theological wrongs, and I was ready to re-plaster the smile, bat the eye lashes, and keep quiet.

This morning I'm scrapbooking a book for my husbands grandmother (only one more page to go). I'll finish that up, run a quick load of laundry, then start getting ready for tonight. I haven't even got dressed yet... I think I may skip that step today.

As I was messing with my evil sticky photo thingy, my 5 year old son came up to me and said "Mom, I want boobs, but not on me... just some to have." "Um honey, you'll get that when God gives you a wife." "Oh yes.. I can't wait!" Lord help us.

14 comments:

reallyniceday said...

Your guy is insanely funny!!

Stacey said...

Oh Karlie, you are in for a fun ride, aren't you?! I'm very impressed with your answer back, and as much as I've read you, I get the feeling you didn't miss a beat with it either! I like your style.

I'm having a hard time envisioning this charity event--OH.MGOODNESS...no dang way! It wouldn't have been possible for you (or me for that matter) to sit still through that. Woah. Did you go home and take a hot shower? And oddly enough I wish I were there too--is that wrong? xo

PS--go have fun being non-shallow; talk the politics if you see fit and serve your friends as Jesus would and my friend, they will all want to know who you are. And in doing that, I don't need to tell you the mustard seed will be planted.

Cindy said...

New dresses? I don't think I've ever been invited to ANYTHING that I could wear a new DRESS to!! How fun! And your kid is a hoot. Or scary. Not sure which.

His Girl said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! Enjoying yours already... can't wait to read more.

Rachelle said...

Oh how I can relate to the work-related, shallow, social events!! And of course in the financial industry everything revolves around money, so one is constantly listening to all the big deals that so-and-so landed or is about to land..blah, blah, blah. No wonder I always end up drinking a little too much champagne. :-)

Your son!!! Absolutely hilarious!!

javamamma said...

My hubby is breathless and slapping himself in the face. Your son has him rolling!

I'm nauseated by surfac-y too. It doesn't surprise me in 'the world' but in the church? Barf.

Emily said...

I can stand ANYthing if I get new clothes out of the deal.

even annoying liberals. (or weird lady ministers....)

Halfmoon Girl said...

Oh, that is priceless. He and my almost five year old would get along great- he smacks his lips while in the bra section of the Sears catalogue. I have convinced myself that he is reminiscient of his nursing days. Perhaps it would be best not to get the two of them together. I just can't get over what a hilarious comment that was- thanks for sharing!

chickadee said...

oh my dear heavenly goodness is that what i have to look forward to? i'm scared of boy children.

Gayle said...

Oh My Gosh! He ALREADY wants boobs to play with? Start bride shopping now!

Anonymous said...

Oh My!


Shari

Family O'Foxes said...

That last line is too funny! He is starting young! You must be so proud. LOL!
~Amy

midwifemom said...

Oh, that is hilarious! And I thought my son is too girl crazy at 12.


http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/midwifemom/

Christin said...

How did I NOT respond already? I laughed and laughed both times I read it!! Maybe that's it? I was laughing so hard, I couldn't type?

You are a hoot! I'd love to be a fly on the wall...watching you mingle, trying to bite your tongue, and be "casually polite".

Not my style either. But hey...you do what you gotta do to survive, eh?